Taper Malaise

I hate tapering for races. The logistics of long races make me nervous (travel, drop bags, clothing, food, electrolytes, water bottles, etc. etc.). I need to run when I'm nervous. Running helps me feel better. It is difficult to wrap my brain around the self-defeating notion that I am nervous about running, but I cannot run to soothe my nerves. I am an roiling, breathing Escher drawing come to life.

I am running the Vermont 50 on Sunday.

Or at least I am signed up.

I am not nervous about the running itself. I cannot WAIT to begin running. I am nervous about getting up to Vermont, finding the starting area and parking the car amidst something like 600 mountain bikers. I have to get up at 2 a.m. in order to be at Mt. Ascutney by 5:30 for the pre-race meeting. I also have to figure out where to get my number. The vast majority of runners will have already checked in and obtained a number on Saturday. Alas. I cannot go up on Saturday. Too many things to do. (And I don't want to shell out for a motel room.)

The details are killing me. And all of the unknowns.

AND the forecast calls for pouring rain. Again!

Just let me start running. Once I start running, I'll be fine.