Some days I sort of force myself to take a day off from running. These days are unusual, but I was so tired today that it wasn't much of an effort.
I ran 20 miles early yesterday morning and decided with something less than absolute certainty to quit my job. For the last hour of the run I listened to a podcast of Speaking of Faith. Krista Tippet was speaking to a man about Buddha in the world. The man spoke against capitalist greed (can only lead to physical violence in the end, he said). He said every person should try to get right with themselves. And leave it at that.
He cited the example of tortured Tibetans. Tibetan Buddhism is rigorous. Many of the Buddhists tortured by the Chinese evidently do not suffer long term effects (PTSD and the like). The Tibetan Buddhists are able to forgive and even feel compassion for their tormentors. The wind blows through their souls. They are remarkable.
So I will quit the blog job for the paper. Soul sucking work. I used to love it and I no longer do. I have been writing about myself and my family for five years and I don't want to do it anymore. I am quitting the job that I once would have characterized as a dream job. I'm giving up a tiny bit of money and a healthy dose of local prestige. I'm getting right with myself.
So in the spirit of giving in, I had a rare and lazy day. Never once changed out of the clothes I slept in. Took a nap. Read my book (Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami). Read a New Yorker piece about Ian McEwan. Played with the kids. Walked and talked with friends I have not seen in months. Rejuvenation day. The first day....
And I dreamed about running the Grindstone 100. It's evidently a tough race in Virginia in October. The timing is great. I can train all summer while Brian is home, then taper when he goes back to school in the fall. The race is all hills and rocks and trail. Just my cup of tea.